Think about all the advertisements that you view. Intensity – if it is bigger, brighter, louder in some way.It determines what things we focus on compared to what things we ignore. The first step in the perception process is selection. What we pay attention to varies from one person to another. Perception is an interesting thing because sometimes we think other people have a similar perspective, but as we will see, that is not always the case. ![]() 54Įven when people break up, men typically will think about the physical aspects of the relationship (I gave her a watch, she wasn’t that hot) and women will think about the emotional aspects of the relationship (I gave him my heart, I really cared about him.). For instance, when people get married, one person might say, “I love you! I would die for you,” then a couple of years later, that same person might say, “I hate you! I am going to kill you!” Their perceptions about the other person will change. It also has an impact on what we listen to and how we listen. That is why we focus on perception in a communication book because often, our perception affects how we communicate. Only our perceptions of them have changed. Initially, people can view others positively (for example, confident, thrifty, funny), then later in the relationship that person changes (arrogant, cheap, childish). An example would be, “Why aren’t you listening?” This example implies that the person wasn’t listening, when in fact they are listening. There are questions that are based on unchecked assumptions. For instance, when a friend says, “Do I look fat?” You probably have a correct or ideal answer. They can ask questions that carry hidden agendas, like “Do you have $5?” because the person would like to borrow that money. A speaker can use questions that make statements by emphasizing specific words or phrases, stating an opinion or feeling on the subject. For instance, if someone asks you, “Tell me how often you used crystal meth.” The speaker implies that you have used meth, even though that has not been established. Sometimes, counterfeit questions can cause the listener to be defensive. Counterfeit questions are disguised attempts to send a message, not to receive one. Sincere questions are ones that are created to find a genuine answer. ![]() You might have different types of questions. Police officers at the scene of the crime will question any witnesses to get a better understanding of what happened. Nathan says “That’s interesting!” Jonna has to ask him further if he means interesting in a positive or negative way.Īsk your parents how they met because you never knew. When you ask your partner where they see your relationship going in the next few years. To learn about others’ thoughts, feelings, and wants ( open/closed questions) There are several ways to question in a sincere, nondirective way (see Table 7.4.1): Table 7.4.1 Types of Nondirective Questioning ReasonĪ young child might mumble something and you want to make sure you understand what they said. In situations where you want to get answers, it might be beneficial to use questioning.
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